Melanie and Janet were having a good conversation. Melanie, who is white, said to Janet, an African-American, “When I talk with you, I don’t see color.” Janet told me later, “I know she intended it well, but of course, it denies my experiences as a black woman and suggests that I have—good for me—successfully become acculturated with whites.” Continue reading
So let’s establish who we’re talking about. The Urban Dictionary has lots of definitions, but here are a couple that you’ll recognize from your interactions at work:
Of all the idiosyncrasies of people, one of the most insufferable is working (or more accurately, attempting to work) with someone who is really arrogant and self-centered. The checklist of characteristics can include:
- “What’s in it for me” overrides all other considerations. Everyone owes them enormous benefits, no matter the amount of effort they put in.
- They have an agenda. You are their friend as long as you’re helping them to advance their agenda (and their ego). You are dropped, and maybe even bad-mouthed, when you are no longer feeding them.
We’ve all seen the parents who continually give the same equivocal direction to their kids – “Now, Johnny, please be nice to the cat” – and when Johnny pulls the cat’s tail for the eighth time, just repeat the refrain: “Johnny, didn’t Mommy tell you to be nice to the cat?” Continue reading